Monday 9 November 2009

Leap of faith?

Well..........following on from "All I want is movie love!" (kindly posted by Blondie do to technical errors or my simple incompetance!) I did it.........I took the leap and (kind of) told the man in question how I felt.
I phrase is as 'kind of' telling him as in the end I resorted to technology to do the talking for me and sent him an email. How big and brave of me!

I was spending the evening with Mr X adn I had already decided / been advised that I needed to do soemthing sooner rather than later to spare my sanity adn that based on what I had told people a guy spending time with you is a reasonably good indicator that he might like you (shows he doesn't hate you at the very least).
So spending the evening together cooking and then a movie.........a typical Curvygirl and Mr X evening..............about 11.30pm he went to leave.

The moment had arrived for me to say something. Whilst doing the usual kiss and hug goodbye my head was just abotu in the right frame of mind and then I went to open my mouth and ............nothing! Nothing came out! Eek!

So off he drove and as if on automatic panic pilot I closed my front door, fired up my laptop and just wrote out quite plain and simply what I wanted to say. I didn't really hesitate about pressing 'send' either!

So there it was out in the electronic wilderness..................

Sending somehting so late one can only really anticipate someone reading their email the next day so I waited the whole day, managing to actually put it out of my mind for the most part. I then calmly got home in the afternoon and didn't rush to look......preparign myself for the worst.........and after about an hour I cooly logged on to my account, speed read down the senders list (past the hundreds of junk mails) and again..............nothing! .............Nothing!

OK so I hadn't exactly written instructions as to what to do (email back 'Y' for I love you too and 'N' for Not a chance girly!) infact I had kind of mentioned that if he didn't feel the same then perhaps when he got back (he was going away hence the natural deadline) he didn't mention it so we can try and let it blow over.............but still to not reply or say anything?!?!?! I feel like I'm in suspended animation or something!

Anyway that was a number of days ago now and I do feel better for having taken control and said something. obviously I was hoping for feelings to be reciprocated but realise that ain't gonna happen! I am more curious now, looking back, at what Mr X's behaviour did mean and how could so many of us (I spoke to a few people about it all) could have got it so wrong?

Perhaps I am losing my touch at interpreting the male species? Who knows.

No one wants to feel or even worse know that their feelings are not reciprocated but I have to say you can only do something once you know so as tough as it is...........you've just got to take that leap!

No comments:

Post a Comment